Motherhood, well parenthood, is challenging for sure. Having a newborn requires energy and patience. There are a lot of sleepless nights and cries to learn, although there are books, most of it is trial and error until your baby seems satisfied. You are trucking along as well as you know, and checking in with the doctor monthly; all you want to hear is "great, he looks great...keep up what you are doing". When you do hear that, "phew" you think, "I don't suck as a parent! YES!"
As they grow a little more, then start the rounds of vaccinations. Your baby is happy and healthy and now you have to poke them...all while YOU hold them. So not only do you feel sorry for them, you are now feeling guilty because they are giggling in your safe arms and then WAHHHHHH!!!...they have been poked.
After a few months you notice a pattern and set schedule occurring, your baby is starting to sleep longer hours at night and, hence, so are you. The first few months are conquered and you are now in the "more energy" zone. You can begin to plan things based on his schedule and feel super confident, taking care of him is literally a piece of pie (you don't want the pie because you are now actively trying to lose excess baby weight). But wait...did you hear about sleep regression? That's right as your baby hits a growth spurt, a significant one (commonly seen at the 4 month mark), everything regresses back to those 2-3 hour waking periods, and out goes the neat schedule. This episode knocks you on your butt, you feel exhausted, and look it too...as your hair and skin are now paying for those 10 months of pregnancy glow and hair fullness (hair is now shedding and skin dries like crazy).
All in all, it's quite alright because the regression passes and your sweet baby finds himself falling back into a pattern and seems content again.
Then he starts to teeth...
It's tough for sure, but, and I kid you not, it is by far the best few months of my life so far. You go through this to ensure he is comfortable and has everything he needs, that innately becomes your only concern (far above yourself), because his smile and laugh and watching him grow and develop...well words can't describe how ridiculously amazing it feels. As you are going through the first few months, you notice his strides in development. It feels like a trophy won or a a blue ribbon, each time he achieves something; he smiles now, he baby talks, he now grabs his toys, he now reaches and grabs his feet, he knows me and his dad and goes crazy whenever he sees us enter his room, he blows raspberries, he loves to touch our face, he loves his reflection...the list goes on. All these "little things" are understatedly the best things I have ever experienced, the biggest joys, and I know there are more to come.
The whole point is that, each little thing Caiden does, is so huge in my heart. A couple of nights ago, he woke up at 2 am, I was just exhausted...I got up , fed him and put him back to bed. As I was putting him in the crib, and ready to go back to bed myself, my angel muffin started giggling in his sleep. He looked so damn adorable, I could've stood there forever just smiling back and staring at him and beaming to myself. No matter what, every day I look at him and whenever he opens his beautiful eyes and looks at me, that alone is wow, but then he smiles, another wow...then the laughing and playing (he is at such an interactive stage now). Each little thing he does is awesome, and makes me fall in love daily.
Precious to the maximum this little fellow is, I love being his mom.
