As I hear her little cries and squirming about, I know it's diaper change plus feed time for my little girl.
She knows I am there as I stop before picking her up to just peer into her crib for a second or two. She sees me and even in the dim illumination from the nightlight, I can see her smile. She smiles her own unique, heart-warming, delectable smile, fully opening her mouth wide and then almost shyly tilting her head to the side. She knows I am staring and smiling back. Then I pick her up and, although she is only 3 months and petite, as I put her slightly on my shoulder and chest, she wraps her tiny arms around me gently as if hugging me.
There I stand with my baby...in an embrace in the middle of the night and thinking "How did I get so lucky? I want to remember these moments forever...before she grows up and starts to piss me off".
Right now, other than the crazy events of the year we have had (sibling wedding, cousins weddings, sibling engagement, new nephew, friends having babies plus a baby of our own), my day-to-day life is quite ordinary and routine. I get up, take care of my kids, clean, play, eat, etc. etc. So it is easy to assume one gets bogged down and stuck in the cyclical pattern of unpredictability...but I feel that is far from the truth. Well life with a toddler is never unpredictable, but I truly love being a mom and cherishing these little life moments. I catch myself often watching and observing and then completely coddling my kids. Of course this is not on the days where I am beyond exhausted and begging them to let me sleep...oh yes I have those days too.
Today I tucked Caiden into bed, and then re-tucked him in...he was so cute as he hugged me and then went back to sleep in his own room, own bed. It wasn't that long ago I was picking him up from the crib. So when I picked up my Rayna angel, I got the double dose of love.
She is a cuddler though for sure and geesh that smile...I wish I could create a sensory app where I download this warmth and feeling so I can just re-enact it in the future.
She will be my last baby and I am so lucky, I know, to have another one that is happy, healthy and beautiful to the core.
Now Rayna darling, please do not be a brat or handful in later years. Someone please develop that app.
Goodnight...I am going to cuddle my precious baby back into her crib now.