I Have Changed.

I am a different person...post pregnancies.

Obviously having children evokes changes within,  changes priorities,  changes sleep patterns, even changes how much love you could project.  All these are the anticipated and well-welcomed changes.

However,  as I sit here in silence as my kids sleep and me and hubby watch TV, while eating turkey sandwiches, I realize, "what the heck? I am eating a pickle.  I don't like pickles, but I am eating it in my sandwich and it tastes good...wow I have changed."  

This got me thinking...what else has changed?

So I made a list here of things that are different now, and likely some moms will agree.

1.  My feet
I already had big feet but they have grown and have yet to shrink back!

2.  My affinity to vinegar based foods.
I always loved olives and such, however I now can eat various pickled items that the old me would have overlooked...mmm yummy pickles.

3.  My ability to not break the seal.
Needless to say this is gone (sorry if this is T.M.I.).  That's all I will say about that.

4.  Going to bed without removing make-up.
This was a huge no-no before, but now after coming home from an event, some days I just want to pass out after putting the kids down, so yeah...disgustingly it happens.   I am sure this will eventually go back.

5.  My cool normal self. You know those crazy women we hear about that you swear you will never be...yeahhh I take that back.  You do not want to deal with me past 10pm.

6.  My inner tendency to people please.
Basically if I can be there for you I will,  but my kids come first and if that bothers anyone, where the old me would lose sleep over how to make it work, now I expect understanding or c'est la vie.  Time is too precious to waste it on worrying about everything else and everyone...don't worry be happy is no longer a cliché.

7.  Me being A.Ok. with a night in.  There was a time where Saturday night meant I had to have plans...not anymore.  I gladly look forward to a quiet evening at home where I actually get a chance to chillax.  It is not boring,  it is sheer awesomeness not trying to prove how awesome I am.

8.  My being on top of every chart topping song.  Nowadays,  unless it is overplayed,  I likely do not know what the heck I am hearing at a party. My repertoire of music at the moment includes Old McDonald,  Twinkle Twinkle, and various theme songs to popular shows on Treehouse.

9.  My stomach.
It is bigger, yes, however what I refer to here is my ability to have a stronger stomach when it comes to disgusting things such as vomit, diaper messes and so forth.  You truly have no choice as a parent,  it is something I feared I would be a tad grossed out by...but even the biggest of poop messes has kept me unphased.

10.  Last but not least...and likely the most affected: My memory.
Dear lordy lordy lordy...please help me remember where I put my keys, phone and any item I was holding onto 5 minutes ago.  I used to be on top of the ball, knew where all my stuff was and everyone else's,  now I am lucky if I can remember anything at all.  I literally forget why I came into a room and as such make a list of everything I must do each day.  Admittedly I am a but ditzy...I used to be smart...I swear it.

Well that is my list.  I am sure there are some others that can go up here, but I have probably forgotten (haha...no really though).

Do you moms out there have any other good ones to share?  I would love to hear!

Cheers to changes!

She is precious.

As I hear her little cries and squirming about, I know it's diaper change plus feed time for my little girl.

She knows I am there as I stop before picking her up to just peer into her crib for a second or two.  She sees me and even in the dim illumination from the nightlight, I can see her smile.  She smiles her own unique, heart-warming,  delectable smile, fully opening her mouth wide and then almost shyly tilting her head to the side. She knows I am staring and smiling back.   Then I pick her up and, although she is only 3 months and petite,  as I put her slightly on my shoulder and chest, she wraps her tiny arms around me gently as if hugging me. 

There I stand with my baby...in an embrace in the middle of the night and thinking "How did I get so lucky? I want to remember these moments forever...before she grows up and starts to piss me off".

Right now, other than the crazy events of the year we have had (sibling wedding, cousins weddings, sibling engagement,  new nephew,  friends having babies plus a baby of our own), my day-to-day life is quite ordinary and routine.  I get up, take care of my kids, clean, play, eat, etc. etc.  So it is easy to assume one gets bogged down and stuck in the cyclical pattern of unpredictability...but I feel that is far from the truth.  Well life with a toddler is never unpredictable, but I truly love being a mom and cherishing these little life moments.   I catch myself often watching and observing and then completely coddling my kids.  Of course this is not on the days where I am beyond exhausted and begging them to let me sleep...oh yes I have those days too. 

Today I tucked Caiden into bed, and then re-tucked him in...he was so cute as he hugged me and then went back to sleep in his own room, own bed.  It wasn't that long ago I was picking him up from the crib.  So when I picked up my Rayna angel, I got the double  dose of love. 

She is a cuddler though for sure and geesh that smile...I wish I could create a sensory app where I download this warmth and feeling so I can just re-enact it in the future.  

She will be my last baby and I am so lucky, I know, to have another one that is happy, healthy and beautiful to the core. 

Now Rayna darling, please do not be a brat or handful in later years.  Someone please develop that app.

Goodnight...I am going to cuddle my precious baby back into her crib now.

Xoxo