Top 5 Things No New Mom Wants to Hear

As a new mom, it is common to pick the brains of those that have recently gone through the newborn phase, or those you trust. However, sometimes, ok almost always, you are faced with a plethora of advice that comes your way. Some warranted. Some overwhelming. Some just annoying.

For some reason, there are always women that decide to offer up some tidbits upon new mothers, which is frankly not advice at all. Unlike actual advice, these come as question pangs as they are sometimes coupled with an undertone of “well you aren’t doing it right.” Although not ill intended, I'm sure, sometimes people feel nervous for new moms, which is crazy because new moms are nervous for themselves enough. 

We all have been there, on the receiving end. But how do you avoid becoming one of those annoying women that people really don’t want to hear from, well that new moms don’t.

Here are some of the things a new mom does not want to hear. If she didn't ask, try to refrain from offering up these tips or asking these questions. If you do, you may have gotten an eye roll, or a finger behind your back, or told the “we won’t be home” if you have asked to visit again.

The top 5 list of things not to say to a new mom, and what the new mom is likely thinking is as follows:

Why is the baby crying?
It is a baby right? That is what they do…right? I'm just trying to figure it out myself, because I haven’t met a newborn that can articulate what it needs yet. But thanks for asking genius.

Is your breast milk in yet? Maybe you should give formula.
Ok, my nurse told me it takes a bit. But don’t you worry, when I am filling up or spewing liquid I will call you to ensure you I am not starving my child. Please go away now.

Oh when Charlie was a baby we used to give him honey.
Ok Charlie is 29. I am sure some things have changed since Charlie was a baby. But then again what does my medical doctor know...I should listen to you. 

You look tired.
___ off. 

Oh I'm sure you will lose the weight.
I didn't ask. I don't care right now. Why do you?

These are some of the most common things, I heard, or heard from colleagues.  As a new mom, you have to learn to roll your eyes and laugh about it. You cannot take it too personally. 

As a person visiting a new mom, please, pretty please try your best not to annoy a newly tired woman who is just learning the ropes. You may mean well, but trust me, you will be labeled as “that aunt” or “that friend” or “that former friend”. 

All in good humour of course ;)

So tell me, what are some of the best/funniest or flat out worst things you may have heard?